"So, are you dating anyone?"
That phrase is usually enough to send someone into fits of hyperventilation and cold sweats. Cuz dating is...well, it can be a big pain in the butt. But newsflash: you'll never get married if you never date anyone. Unless you have an arranged marriage, which I don't really recommend.
Just because something is necessary doesn't mean it's easy, though, so read on for some of my tips for surviving those dating years before you get married. Trust me, there aren't this many rules in marriage, so once you've got a ring your life becomes a LOT easier (in some ways)!
So I guess the best place to start when talking about dating, is what kinds of dates you should go on/plan.
@Collin_Gbo said: "NO movie theatre dates. They don't get you any information about the person and you don't even look at eachother. Do something hands on."
@forgetfulmormon added that taking a girl to the movies is "lazy and not heartfelt."
To follow up on Collin's advice, I definitely think this is a good idea. It's one thing to see a movie when you've been dating a while or you're married/engaged, but for a first date, or even second or third or fourth? Nu-uh. No good. It's awkward the entire time because you're not sure if your date wants to hold your hand, you're surrounded my complete strangers in a giant dark room, and unless you go see a G or PG rated kid's movie (which is perfectly fine, Husband and I just watched Big Hero 6 and loved it), you're going to end up watching some extremely awkward sexual scene of some sorts that will just ruin everything. Just...yeah. Don't do it.
Here are some fun dates I've been on:
-pumpkin patch around Halloween, followed by pumpkin carving at someone's house
-picnic at a park and then a hike
-ice cream and window shopping at the mall
-if you're from a state that's not hugely LDS populated, you probably have stake dances. I went on a "date" to one of those once and it was SO fun! We hung out as a group, and when slow songs came on you always had someone to dance with. But the environment was really relaxed so you didn't feel the pressure you would at prom or homecoming or whatnot.
Sidenote: group dates are SO FUN, you guys. I've had more fun on group dates than on most one-on-one dates I've been on.
I've divided these into categories based on gender, but that doesn't mean that girls shouldn't take advice from the boys info or vice versa. I just found that this was an easy way to organize my thoughts when I started this post.
DEAR BOYS:
Be a gentleman, please. I know that word gets tossed around pretty casually now, or people think that chivalry is dead and whatnot, but please do your best to prove them wrong! Here are some gentlemen-related tips for you fellows:
If you're picking a girl up from her house/somewhere else, walk up to the door and knock. DO NOT SIT IN YOUR CAR AND HONK TIL SHE COMES OUT or text her that you're there. If your date's father is anything like mine, he will not let your date leave the house when that happens. He will walk down to your car, lean in your window, and explain that his daughter is precious and will not be treated so carelessly.
Open doors for her, if she'll let you. Some girls get offended when you try to be courteous, and hey that's their right I guess. But do your best. Whatever makes her feel comfortable, do that.
That phrase is usually enough to send someone into fits of hyperventilation and cold sweats. Cuz dating is...well, it can be a big pain in the butt. But newsflash: you'll never get married if you never date anyone. Unless you have an arranged marriage, which I don't really recommend.
Just because something is necessary doesn't mean it's easy, though, so read on for some of my tips for surviving those dating years before you get married. Trust me, there aren't this many rules in marriage, so once you've got a ring your life becomes a LOT easier (in some ways)!
So I guess the best place to start when talking about dating, is what kinds of dates you should go on/plan.
@Collin_Gbo said: "NO movie theatre dates. They don't get you any information about the person and you don't even look at eachother. Do something hands on."
@forgetfulmormon added that taking a girl to the movies is "lazy and not heartfelt."
To follow up on Collin's advice, I definitely think this is a good idea. It's one thing to see a movie when you've been dating a while or you're married/engaged, but for a first date, or even second or third or fourth? Nu-uh. No good. It's awkward the entire time because you're not sure if your date wants to hold your hand, you're surrounded my complete strangers in a giant dark room, and unless you go see a G or PG rated kid's movie (which is perfectly fine, Husband and I just watched Big Hero 6 and loved it), you're going to end up watching some extremely awkward sexual scene of some sorts that will just ruin everything. Just...yeah. Don't do it.
Here are some fun dates I've been on:
-pumpkin patch around Halloween, followed by pumpkin carving at someone's house
-picnic at a park and then a hike
-ice cream and window shopping at the mall
-if you're from a state that's not hugely LDS populated, you probably have stake dances. I went on a "date" to one of those once and it was SO fun! We hung out as a group, and when slow songs came on you always had someone to dance with. But the environment was really relaxed so you didn't feel the pressure you would at prom or homecoming or whatnot.
 |
| Wow my hair was short...this was 2008, fall of my junior year |
I've divided these into categories based on gender, but that doesn't mean that girls shouldn't take advice from the boys info or vice versa. I just found that this was an easy way to organize my thoughts when I started this post.
DEAR BOYS:
Be a gentleman, please. I know that word gets tossed around pretty casually now, or people think that chivalry is dead and whatnot, but please do your best to prove them wrong! Here are some gentlemen-related tips for you fellows:
If you're picking a girl up from her house/somewhere else, walk up to the door and knock. DO NOT SIT IN YOUR CAR AND HONK TIL SHE COMES OUT or text her that you're there. If your date's father is anything like mine, he will not let your date leave the house when that happens. He will walk down to your car, lean in your window, and explain that his daughter is precious and will not be treated so carelessly.
Open doors for her, if she'll let you. Some girls get offended when you try to be courteous, and hey that's their right I guess. But do your best. Whatever makes her feel comfortable, do that.
DEAR GIRLS:
Dress for what you're doing. I don't care if you bought a new dress for the occasion and then found out you were going hiking. WEAR SOME DANG SHORTS AND SNEAKERS, GIRL. Your date will not appreciate you whining about being uncomfortable the whole time, and even if you don't whine, you will NOT have a good time if you're not dressed for the occasion.
DEAR EVERYONE:
Put. Away. Your. Cell. Phone.
Phones are alright if you're taking a picture, but other than that you should not be texting/tweeting/playing Candy Crush/etc during your date. People are getting worse and worse about this, and I'll admit that on occasion I've checked my phone or been texting someone when I'm out with Husband. And I always feel kinda guilty about it. PLEASE focus on your date! I promise your social media pages and games will be ok without you babysitting for a few hours!
Be polite. It might be obvious that your date is pretty nervous, even if you guys have been best friends for several years and calling what you're doing a "date" is the only thing different about going out to get something to eat together. Be considerate. Don't tease your date about their nerves, something embarrassing they did at school/church, etc. Just use your heads, people!
Dating is not an easy thing, and I don't think it's something you ever get "good" at. BUT: it is drastically affected by your attitude. Dates are only awkward if you let them be, or boring if you let them be. If things are going downhill, do something to try to change that! And not every date you go on will be perfect or even good, so don't let the bad ones discourage you from ever trying again. Endure to the end y'all!
In closing, if you still don't wanna date, just do what @janaethemormon said: "boys r dumb have cats and pizza instead."
Be polite. It might be obvious that your date is pretty nervous, even if you guys have been best friends for several years and calling what you're doing a "date" is the only thing different about going out to get something to eat together. Be considerate. Don't tease your date about their nerves, something embarrassing they did at school/church, etc. Just use your heads, people!
Dating is not an easy thing, and I don't think it's something you ever get "good" at. BUT: it is drastically affected by your attitude. Dates are only awkward if you let them be, or boring if you let them be. If things are going downhill, do something to try to change that! And not every date you go on will be perfect or even good, so don't let the bad ones discourage you from ever trying again. Endure to the end y'all!
In closing, if you still don't wanna date, just do what @janaethemormon said: "boys r dumb have cats and pizza instead."
No comments:
Post a Comment